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In November 1999 I went to India to attend
the wedding of Subhir and Rimda. I met Subhir at a project at Citibank in New York in 1998 and soon we became good friends.
The wedding took place in Dehra Dun and Jammu. The bride's family is from Dehra Dun, which is about a six hour train ride (200 miles) northeast of New Delhi on the foot of the Himalayas. 
A lot of retired bureaucrats and military live here in beautiful surroundings.
Before the actual wedding both the bride and groom went through a couple of private ceremonies to prepare them for marriage. Also Subhir hadn't been in India for half a year and had to see everybody in his family. No wonder that he already looks so tired when he gets his turban put on. His whole family congregated in a hotel, before going to the bride's family.
When finally it is time to go, it is a whole procession with the best man wearing an umbrella. The whole extended family of the bride is waiting for the groom at the house of her family. 
When the stars are all in right position just after midnight, the real wedding ceremony can begin. Vows are made, while the groom leads the bride seven times around a fire. A cover is put over them and everybody throws flowers.  When they are finally allowed to see eachother officially,the cover is taken off.  The ceremony is over and the groom can stay at her side for the first night. They look tired though. A wedding in India is an exhausting affair. It definitely makes you want to do it only once. 
It is almost three o'clock now and we're having a last cup of thee. Indians
are not suppose to drink alcohol as it would pollute the soul .
 After saying goodbye to the new made friends, we took the night train to Jammu, which is a quite comfortable ride of about 12 hours. I woke up about half an hour before we arrived. I love to sleep. In Jammu the family was waiting at the station. They brought us to their house and the party continued immediately with singing and dancing. 
 After all these days (and don't forget the wedding night) the bride is sitting back and relaxing a bit.  Later I got to walk around the city. It seemed that there were no other foreigners. Even the taxi drivers didn't try to overcharge, as they were not used to any tourists. Jammu is only 15 miles from Pakistan and with the recent troubles there is a tense feeling. The military are omnipresent and on the spot security checks are common. As a result Jammu must be one of the safest places to visit. 
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